You might be a COASTER if...

• You've got more shoes on your front porch than the entrance to a Tokyo bath house.
• Your other car is a boat or golf cart.
• You spend more time reading tide charts than Dow-Jones averages.
• You've got a refrigerator just for beer and bait.
• The only suit you own. . .is a bathing suit.
• You've got more folding chairs than folding money.
• Your calendar has 3 seasons;off season, tourist season and hurricane season.
• Your net worth depends on how the fish are running.
• You've given more blood to mosquitos than the Red Cross.
• You know voluntary evacuation isn't a medical term.
• Your favorite shopping center is a computer, catalog, and credit card.
• Your basic grooming tools are sunblock & insect repellant.
• You've seen more alligators at the golf couse than the zoo.
• Your neighbors join AARP more often than PTA.
• You might really be a COASTER if you are fully and firmly convinced that I-95 only runs south!

With all due respect to Jeff Foxworthy, this was written by Brenda C. Birmelin